Life has a way of teaching us lessons too late. Sometimes, we only realize the value of a person after they’re no longer around. That’s the story behind my upcoming song “I Was Wrong” — a heartfelt tribute to my grandmother, the one person who never gave up on me, even when I was too childish to see it. 💔 The Heart of the Song My grandmother wasn’t just family — she was a force of love and protection. While the world seemed to turn against me, she was the one who stood by my side. She fought for me, defended me, and believed in me when no one else did. Yet, in my youthful mischievousness, I didn’t always understand her value. I made fun of her sometimes — of her age, her habits, the little things that now feel like precious memories. I didn’t see the countless sacrifices she made. I didn’t realize how rare it is to have someone who truly loves you without conditions. “I Was Wrong” was born out of this realization — a mix of regret, nostalgia, and hope. A song that carries the words I ...
So Welcome to Next Chapter of my life so,last time I left when I got my phone. Now here's what happenes next........
The Addiction That Changed Everything
The first time I got a phone and went online, it felt like unlocking a whole new world. I made friends from across the globe, and suddenly, my life wasn’t so lonely anymore—or at least, that’s what I thought.
I got addicted. Not just to my phone, but to the idea of always being online. I kept checking for messages, hoping someone would text, but the reality? My online friends barely logged in, while I was glued to my screen 24/7. My parents started scolding me, telling me to do something productive instead of wasting time. But in my mind, they just didn’t get it. Why did they always have a problem with me? Why couldn’t they let me enjoy my life?
The Escape That Backfired
Loneliness had always been a part of my life. I never really had friends who matched my vibe—instead, people just made fun of me. So, the online world became my escape. But the more I stayed online, the emptier it felt. When my friends weren’t around, I’d just scroll endlessly, watching reels, feeling lost.
I had a dream once—to be the biggest comedian. But somewhere along the way, I lost focus. I even tried making videos back then, but looking back, I hated them. My acting felt awkward, my expressions unnatural. I became camera-shy, avoiding the very thing I once wanted to master.
Here's a video that still I haven't deleted it yet,
(It's made in hindi language so if you are a english reader and doesn't understand it,it's totally ok just comment or message over my Instagram I'll let you know the idea(meaning) of that video)
Quite funny and awkward acting right??
The "Genius" Plan That Ruined My Studies
Then came my next “brilliant” idea:
“If I’m gonna be a comedian, why do I need school?”
That overconfidence made me fail my 12th-grade exams. But deep down, failing wasn’t just an accident—it was part of my plan. My dad wanted me to finish school, get a degree, and start working. That terrified me. So I thought, if I failed, they’d have no choice but to let me study again, delaying my entry into the boring world of jobs and responsibilities.
Childish? Definitely. But at the time, it made perfect sense.
The Free Fire Phase & Another Failure
To keep myself distracted, I enrolled in a 1-year computer diploma while retrying my 12th grade. But instead of focusing, I found a new addiction—Free Fire. After losing faith in online friendships (and relationships), gaming became my escape. It was fun, thrilling, and for once, I felt like I was good at something.
But guess what? I failed again.
This time, it wasn’t a plan. I genuinely tried but still didn’t make it. That’s when I gave up on studies completely. "Who needs a degree anyway?" I thought. But my parents weren’t having it.
The Daily Cycle of Scoldings & Pressure
The moment I gave up on studies, my parents turned up the heat.
Morning? Mom’s scolding.
Breakfast? Dad’s scolding.
Sitting quietly? More scolding.
Those days more felt like most of time coverd with scolding,taunting, making fun with relatives and that kinda drove me crazy though....
They wanted me to get a job, contribute to the family, do something other than wasting time. But I felt trapped. No studies, no proper job, no direction.
Desperate for comfort, I tried reconnecting with friends. And then, one of my school friends gave me an idea….....!!
(To be continued…)
I'll cover it on my next Blog because it's already been too long hahaha.
And if you have questions you can message me over my Instagram or comment me over here, don't worry I'll reply you 🤥.
Here's my Instagram:Joss Collen !!
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